I am not a runner…
At least this is what I tell everyone, myself included…. Why? Why do I say this?
Maybe it’s because I don’t feel like a runner yet. I feel like an impostor trying to fit into the crowd. Maybe it’s because running doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s hard and I have to push myself harder than I’ve had to in any other sport. Maybe it’s because I’ve always identified myself as a swimmer. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel confident in my running abilities yet…
Some days I look in the mirror before a run and I think to myself ‘I look like a runner today’. I hope there comes a day, soon, when I can look in the mirror and feel that way every day.
Is it a magic switch? Does it just happen? You wake up one day and think I am a runner.
Today I tried something new on my run. When I was struggling and full of negative thoughts – my legs are f*!@ing TIRED! Why am I running? My lungs hurt! I can’t breath! I’m just going to walk for a little bit…. I interrupted these thoughts and forced myself to think positively – You are a runner. You are strong. You are stronger than you think. Just keep pushing. You can do this. And I did.
It’s so easy to let negative thoughts take over. To let them win. To stay focused on the numbers on my watch reminding me that I’m not as fast as I’d like to be. But I am faster than I was months ago. I am stronger. I am braver. I am more confident. I can do this.
I am going to challenge myself… I will start telling people that I am a runner. I will repeat this to myself every day until I wholeheartedly believe it.
I AM A RUNNER!